Road Trip

Before I forget it, I wanted to offer up one scene from the drive so far.

My aunt and me driving through St. Louis.

Her: Wow, the Arch is beautiful.
Me: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Her: But it's silver. Why do they call it the Golden Arch?
Me: Uhhh....they don't. You're thinking of McDonald's.
Her: Oh.

And also, to keep the musical pelota rolling, one more great guest appearance.

It's another one starring Eddie Vedder.

Reasons it rules:
- no ridiculousness, he just comes out (at the beginning of the song) and sings the hell out of it
- no asinine new lyrics
- Tom Petty looks like Penny Marshall

Pics From Perhew

I am in Sheridan, WY. Tomorrow we go to Cody, WY. My aunt and I are driving from NC to CA.

These are pictures from Peru that Wynn took. I took some, and I'll put them up when I haven't been driving for 29 hours in the last 2.5 days. Or something like that.

Hector and me gettin' loco.

The Field General, surveying his troops.


Another sign that the U.S. is improving in soccer. I AM THE WALL. (Even though he's far away in the background, my soccer strength is so mighty that Daniel still feels the need to grab onto his pelotas.)

Stories And Performances

The other night, I think I found too many musical pairings that I love. I don't know if I'll ever have time to post them all.

And YES, in hindsight, clearly Axl's jacket should've received mention in the last post. I think four people emailed me to tell me about my mistake. I was shocked that four people had actually read it.

Let's keep the good times rolling........

Bono again. This time, with The Edge. And with Pearl Jam.

Why this is awesome:
- they named their collaboration "UJam"

- Bono strictly follows one of the Rules Of Duet Greatness. At least one performer must enter stage mid-song, regardless of how long the song has been going on (not very long), or how impactful it is (not very). I wish this wasn't a rule. You're not going to top "Ladies and gentlemen -- MR. ELTON JOHN!" And you're certainly not going to top Axl Rose's entrance at Wembley, so you may as well get to the stage when the song starts.

- the two ingenius prophets love reading-from-my-notebook style poetry so much during their OWN concerts, that when they play together, it's one big poetical douche-off. Did the song really need new words? Were Bono and Eddie Vedder sitting in adjacent stalls before the show thinking them up? Isn't the song about poverty already?? They should've called the pairing "UDouche." Or "DoucheJam."

And on top of all that......it still totally kicks ass.

This post was originally going to be more stories from South America. Including an anecdote about an Argentinian woman at a club telling me she didn't like American men because "most of them are like him" and then pointing to an intoxicated gringo at the other end of the balcony. Who was my travel companion. Wynn. Who will now be upset that I wrote this. But he knows I love him. The next story will hopefully involve something equally embarrassing occurring to me.

Hilarious Musical Collaborations

I like them. I like finding them, and I like discussing them. Usually I can't tell if my love is ironic or not.

You could probably have a whole mega-section solely devoted to Axl Rose, but this is my favorite so far -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzZXXCDakjY

Reasons why this performance rules:
- when this originally aired (in the early 90s??) I was watching this with my father, who is an enormous Rolling Stones fan. I was captivated. His only response was, "Why did they bring out this jackass?"
- it's an awesome Rolling Stones song that gets very little attention;
- Axl and Mick engage in a tense battle of who can do their worst go-to stage moves (Mick's spirit fingers on steroids and Axl's ridiculous sway);
- the ABSURDLY unnecessary inclusion of Izzy onstage instead of Slash;
- Keith Richards singing the first stanza as if he's never heard the song before;
- and finally, the two performers are billionaires singing a song that's meant to be a reversely-ironic discussion of the common man.

And no, despite it's awesomeness, it's still not as good as this.

The only person who may rival Axl in the ridiculous collaborations department is Bono. But what would happen if somehow, the cosmos aligned and they joined forces? What if the two Kings of Silly Collab collided? Would the world explode?? What? One exists? Seriously?

Wait A Darn Second

Soon, I will post more pics/brilliant analysis from my past two weeks in South America, but I wanted to step aside for some much brighter brilliance.

Has anyone else seen this? Why is this not the most popular sight on the internet?

Buenos Aires

I should´ve bought a watch in Buenos Aires. I was probably aware of what time it was around 10% of the time. I think BA is very similar to New York City. Wynn has lived in NYC for years, and is naturally contrarian, so he disagrees somewhat. I don´t think my body was ready for five straight days of arriving home after the sun rose.

Wynn and I were both given counterfeit money at different times. I was informed that mine was "muy muy falso" and part of the ink had even appeared to bleed all over the rest of the bill. And the watermark that is supposed to be a drawing of a politican looked like a drawing from an uncoordinated 4th grader.

We ate a steak restaurant and I ordered "steak wrapped in bacon." The steak was one of the biggest pieces of meat I´ve ever seen, and the bacon was a veritable sheet, wrapped around the giant piece of steak. Wynn got a giant piece of steak wrapped around a large piece of ham, with cheese and peppers in the middle. We were unaware that the side dishes were plentiful. We took part in a two-for-one special on bottles of wine, but you had to take one of them to go. The rest of the night and morning was spent handing the bottle to employees at clubs and seeing how funny it was that two shabbily dressed gringos were toting around wine. We left it at a club and forgot about it. I think that was the club where a group of girls wanted to practice their English, which mainly consisted of the phrase "I love you." As I type this, I realize that it was not anywhere near as cool as it sounds.

With our gracious hosts in Buenos Aires, we ended up watching Free Willy one night with their son. We debated about whether or not "Will You Be There" was at the end of this movie, or the sequel. Thank goodness it was this one. That song has definitely become the most beloved song of this trip, if not my life.

Last night back in Lima, looking for a place to hang out late after dinner, we were directed to a club near our hostel. We were told it was one of the only places in Lima that was open at this hour. We were not told, however, that the place was mostly populated by Peruvian prostitutes. We sat at the bar with some of Wynn´s friends who happened to be in town from a trek to Macchu Picchu. The whole thing was pretty weird, until Wynn talked the DJ into playing...... "Will You Be There." The prostitutes cleared the floor and Wynn and our friends showed them all that South Americans aren´t the only people obsessed with 80s/90s power ballads.

P.S.

When he turned off Big Stan, he put on Happy Feet.