I think we've played in Little Rock, Arkansas at the Whitewater Tavern probably four times in the past year. It's got everything one could ever want in a bar: really cheap booze, really good food, really absurd decorations (a real canoe hanging from the ceiling, a poster-sized photo of a naked man playing an accordian), really wacky regular patrons (overheard: "A corndog! None of those fuckers got me in 'Nam, but I come home and almost die on a corndog!! A corndog!!!), and free wireless internet.
The bar is managed by an extremely nice guy named Matt, who lets us sleep at his house whenever we are in town. His roommates include "Sweet" Jane (a bartender at Whitewater), and Michael.
Michael and I were in a coffee shop on Tuesday when he revealed that he had to be at work at 9am the next morning for a meeting with his bosses at U.S. Pizza, a restaurant in town.
"I'm kind of worried. I really don't know if they're going to fire me or promote me."
Why would they fire you?
"Well, a couple reasons. They told me to take off the Obama button I was wearing, and I told them 'That's fucking ridiculous,' and it happened to be in front of a customer. Then I made a little sign."
A sign? What?
"Well, there's this big flat screen TV in our dining room, and there's a camera in the restaurant's arcade. So the TV just shows the arcade, so parents in the dining room can watch their kids while the kids are playing in the arcade."
Ok.
"And it's total bullshit because the house dressing that we serve has 96 grams of fat in a 6-ounce serving. So everyone thinks they're being healthy, when they're really just getting heart disease."
Ok.
"So I made a sign that just had the facts. 'Our house dressing has 96 grams of fat in a 6-ounce serving.' And I hung it up in the arcade so that the TV in the dining room showed the sign all day."
The next morning, in the pouring rain, I drove Michael to his meeting. They handed Michael a write-up of his offenses ("Michael was wearing a button that a guest found offensive. Michael said 'FUCK' in front of guest") and fired him. They asked him why he made the sign. He told them that "people have a right to be informed." They then asked him to put his signature on the paper. Michael responded, "Well, I will sign this, but can I please record the fact that what I actually said was 'This is fucking ridiculous.' ? We live in a postmodern society where the truth is important."
All of this lifted Michael to heroic status among me and all of our friends in Little Rock. But the best part by far was that Michael spent the rest of the day making jokes about his new unemployed status. "Hey Michael, do you want to go get lunch with us?" I just got fired, and you want to talk about lunch??? Really?? Lunch?? I've just been fired. ......."Hey Michael, did you listen to that Arcade Fire album?" I've just been fired from my job and you want to talk about the Arcade Fire?? Really?? I can't discuss music right now. ........."Michael, have you thought about trying to collect unemployment pay?" Seriously?? A man gets fired today, and you want to ask him whether or not he's going to collect unemployment? You dick, have some god-damned sympathy.
Michael rules. The only question I have is what made him think that the meeting could possibly have been about him getting promoted, but I guess I can ask him in January when we go back to Little Rock.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Tex Message
"Tex Message." Oh man, that's golden. I think the inspiration was a girl near me who just said "I totally include a smiley face in all my text messages."
Tonight we played at a coffee house near Dallas called The White Rhino. All I could think about was our video tech project in high school where Andrew Kilpatrick, Conor, and Peter made a fake commercial for heroin called "White Tiger."
The only two guys at the show tonight who were not in high school were Harley Davidson employees. One of them had been hit by a car while riding his motorcycle TODAY. "Dear God, are you alright? Why are you even out of the house?" "Well," he said, "my helmet worked. I only had a mild concussion.....I think....I was unconscious for a while, so I'm not sure. It happens." Instant new hero. He even put money into our tip jar.
Last night's show was in College Station, TX. Quite a wide array of characters made it out to that one, too. Including a man who now spends much of his days organizing free meals for all the patrons of the bar. He just buys a bunch of food, and makes it outside on the porch, and gives it to people at the bar. Kristy and Casey thought that was a wondrous idea until I pointed out that maybe there were better candidates for free hot meals than the drunken patrons of the Revolution Bar and Cafe. The man was pretty cool though....wearing socks (but no shoes) and jeans with a GIGANTIC hole in the ass.
I ended up spending most of the night (after our show) speaking with Rudy, a big Mexican guy living in College Station who loves Sonic Youth, Pavement, and loads of other bands that my friends in college adored, but that I couldn't stand. "Listen man, you need to buy Daydream Nation and get into it," he told me. "Study it. It's amazing. Then, a couple years later, get this other album they released called -- "
"Wait a second," I interrupted. "It's going to take me two years to grasp this album??"
"Yeah man, it's really intense. It's some insane shit."
"But TWO YEARS??? If I've been listening to it for, let's say 14 months, and I still am not into it, you think I need to invest another 10 months of my life trying to grasp this Sonic Youth album?"
"Well....yeah man, I guess you may not dig it."
Tonight we played at a coffee house near Dallas called The White Rhino. All I could think about was our video tech project in high school where Andrew Kilpatrick, Conor, and Peter made a fake commercial for heroin called "White Tiger."
The only two guys at the show tonight who were not in high school were Harley Davidson employees. One of them had been hit by a car while riding his motorcycle TODAY. "Dear God, are you alright? Why are you even out of the house?" "Well," he said, "my helmet worked. I only had a mild concussion.....I think....I was unconscious for a while, so I'm not sure. It happens." Instant new hero. He even put money into our tip jar.
Last night's show was in College Station, TX. Quite a wide array of characters made it out to that one, too. Including a man who now spends much of his days organizing free meals for all the patrons of the bar. He just buys a bunch of food, and makes it outside on the porch, and gives it to people at the bar. Kristy and Casey thought that was a wondrous idea until I pointed out that maybe there were better candidates for free hot meals than the drunken patrons of the Revolution Bar and Cafe. The man was pretty cool though....wearing socks (but no shoes) and jeans with a GIGANTIC hole in the ass.
I ended up spending most of the night (after our show) speaking with Rudy, a big Mexican guy living in College Station who loves Sonic Youth, Pavement, and loads of other bands that my friends in college adored, but that I couldn't stand. "Listen man, you need to buy Daydream Nation and get into it," he told me. "Study it. It's amazing. Then, a couple years later, get this other album they released called -- "
"Wait a second," I interrupted. "It's going to take me two years to grasp this album??"
"Yeah man, it's really intense. It's some insane shit."
"But TWO YEARS??? If I've been listening to it for, let's say 14 months, and I still am not into it, you think I need to invest another 10 months of my life trying to grasp this Sonic Youth album?"
"Well....yeah man, I guess you may not dig it."
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The D-est Of The Big D's
Casey just said to me, "Last time we were in Dallas, I figured it would be the only time I was ever there in my life. Now we're here, and it's a week later." Casey always exaggerates though, it was about three weeks ago, I think. I don't even know.
We're back at the Opening Bell in downtown Dallas. We played this afternoon outside in a park. Well, kind of a park, more like an intersection in a nice neighborhood called Highland Park. People were jogging/rollerblading/strolling by. It was hard not to laugh at some people, including an older gentleman walking his dog while wearing a shirt that said "FBI: Female Body Investigator."
Our best friend from yesterday was Barry, a fine man we met at a bar in Jackson, MI. He relayed to Casey and me an amazing story about how he recently found out that he has a five-year old daughter. Five years ago, he was dating a woman, and they broke up. He "thought she may be pregnant," but wasn't totally sure. He started dating another woman. That woman passed away. Right after she passed away, he found his ex-girlfriend (the possibly pregnant one) on Myspace. She wrote him a message on Myspace that said she needed to talk to him. When he called her, she said that she had had his child five years ago, and that she'd been writing him letters for the last five years. "I guess the girlfriend that just died had been hiding the letters."
He is now happily together with the mother of his child.
Barry is awesome. He was drinking Sparks energy drink and smoking cigarettes non-stop. He was the sanest crazy man at the bar that I could ever imagine. As Casey and I drove off, Casey asked me if I heard Barry say that he used to play bass in a Doors cover band. Casey giggled, then added, "Which is totally awesome because the Doors didn't have a bassist."
We're back at the Opening Bell in downtown Dallas. We played this afternoon outside in a park. Well, kind of a park, more like an intersection in a nice neighborhood called Highland Park. People were jogging/rollerblading/strolling by. It was hard not to laugh at some people, including an older gentleman walking his dog while wearing a shirt that said "FBI: Female Body Investigator."
Our best friend from yesterday was Barry, a fine man we met at a bar in Jackson, MI. He relayed to Casey and me an amazing story about how he recently found out that he has a five-year old daughter. Five years ago, he was dating a woman, and they broke up. He "thought she may be pregnant," but wasn't totally sure. He started dating another woman. That woman passed away. Right after she passed away, he found his ex-girlfriend (the possibly pregnant one) on Myspace. She wrote him a message on Myspace that said she needed to talk to him. When he called her, she said that she had had his child five years ago, and that she'd been writing him letters for the last five years. "I guess the girlfriend that just died had been hiding the letters."
He is now happily together with the mother of his child.
Barry is awesome. He was drinking Sparks energy drink and smoking cigarettes non-stop. He was the sanest crazy man at the bar that I could ever imagine. As Casey and I drove off, Casey asked me if I heard Barry say that he used to play bass in a Doors cover band. Casey giggled, then added, "Which is totally awesome because the Doors didn't have a bassist."
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