Pearl Jam Unites The World

My uncle told me that at the Hannover airport, there are numerous booths advertising all-inclusive "last-minute" travel deals. He had wanted to find out more and I had a lot of time, so I decided to pack my bag, take the tram to the airport and see where I would end up that night. After being in so many big cities, I was hoping to get to a beach. Visions of Greek islands, the Portuguese coastline, and out of control Turkish soccer fans danced through my head.

At the airport, there were probably 15 different booths advertising these travel packages. There were four star hotels in Istanbul for one week at a cost of 400 euros, flight included. All kinds of trips to the Greek islands. As my heartrate increased, I neared the counter, wondering why I was one of only three people at ANY of the booths. I had a flashback to FerryGate 2k8, and figured that maybe I had to be in an automobile ("but anyone's automobile!") in order to board the plane.

Well, the two polite German gentlemen were shocked when I put my backpack on the floor and asked if they could get me to Greece. "Today??!!!" Yes, I said, today. "You mean right now?" Yes. "This is not possible."

I asked how quickly they could get me somewhere fun. They told me that they could give me a package to Portugal.....in about a month. All the packages sell out well in advance.

They spoke solid English, so I figured I'd make the obvious "Well that's not very last minute!" joke. I guess no one had dropped that comedic atom bomb before, because they laughed, heartily. "This is true. I guess we should call it 'last month travel!!!"

I told them that since they couldn't fly me anywhere today, they should recommend somewhere for me to go on the train. Today.

We settled on Salzburg, Austria.

Ten hours later, I was departing my hostel in Salzburg in search of a good bar. I found one along the river. I also found a marvelous drinking companion, an Austrian named Christian.

Christian bears an uncanny resemblance to my good friend Derek. In appearance, mannerisms, and lovably exasperated demeanor.

Christian sells "very expensive history books. I don't know how you say it in English, but I sell history books for thousands of dollars." Antique books, like very very old books? "No, they are not old, but they are very good. So they cost thousands of dollars." I don't think he was pulling my leg, but who knows.

Then Christian and I came upon the topic which would entertain us for the rest of the evening: Pearl Jam.

I love Pearl Jam. Christian LOVES Pearl Jam. Not in the "Pearl Jam is cool, I can't believe people forget that they're still around!" kind of way, but more of the "Pearl Jam releases all of their concerts on CD and I buy every possible one" kind of way. We quickly progressed from discussing Pearl Jam albums to Pearl Jam songs to Pearl jam b-sides to Pearl Jam tours to specific Pearl Jam concerts in 2000.....we enthusiastically celebrated our Pearl Jam geekness. I think we were both shocked to find another human (in a random bar) who spoke a different language, but who vehemently agreed that No Code is an underappreciated masterpiece.

The real fireworks began when he asked me what I thought of "I Got Id" (a song that was never even released on a proper Pearl Jam album). I told him I knew it, but couldn't think of how it went. Christian immediately did one of the loudest, best Eddie Vedder impersonations since Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live. It was tremendous. He took it seriously. Very very seriously.

Then he leaned over to me - "Listen. We finish our beer here, then we leave for another bar. Which Pearl Jam song will we sing on the way?" I laughed and said sure, I was ready to go. "But which song will we sing?" I laughed again, but then realized he wasn't kidding -- I was in charge of picking a song to sing. I laughed again.

He downed his beer, we stood up, and outside he asked again which song I would pick. More nervous laughter from me. Finally, I muttered, "Uhhh, how about 'Smile'" ?

Again, without any hesitation, Christian let loose in the middle of the street -- "Don't it make you smile!! Don't it MAKE you smile!!!........I missssssss you alreadyyyyyyyy!!! I miss you alreadyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!"

Over the three days in Salzburg, I saw the Cathedral orchestra perform an evening of Mozart's music in the cathedral; an amazing classical quartet blazing through tunes in the main square; and numerous accordians and water-glass-rubbing street musicians. And not a single one of them came close to Christian's serenade.