The Train Station In Luxor

(This picture is not actually the train station in Luxor, but you get the idea.)

I think the people of Egypt could not be any nicer.

My friend Nada and I got in the good habit of telling people that we were married so as to cause fewer problems. One man at the train platform was not deterred. He asked if we had any children. When I told him no, he offered to give me his wife and four children, in exchange for Nada. "Then, very soon, we will all have children! Because **I** have no problems." I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not. And then I thought of the two German girls laughing at my sausage-eating stick, and rued the fact that my genitalia had been mocked on two continents in the last two weeks.

When a train pulled up to the platform, a group of four Egyptian women were in the car directly in front of us. This was not our train, so we stood there and watched all the commotion around us. The women in the car smiled at me and waved. I waved back. That made them giggle uncontrollably. I think it was four generations of women from one family. I had no idea what to do next. I asked Nada if blowing them a kiss would be wildly inappropriate. She said yes. The train stayed at the station for at least 20 minutes, so it took every ounce of self-restraint to not go ahead and do it. Since Nada nixed the kiss, I thought about offering them some of my vanilla wafers, but I didn't think that would be as fun. Or as illegal and deserving of the death penalty.

The kids next to me, however, did receive some vanilla wafers.

Another man offered five million camels for Nada.

Suddenly, a giant hacksaw fell out of the luggage of a man walking down the platform. He looked around for a second, then calmly wrapped it back up into his luggage (which was a sheet wrapped around his saw....and who knew what else). Nada and I discussed how this was quite interesting, since at the front gate they had airport-like security. We were waved through without a bag-check, but all of the locals (like Sawman) were being checked. How did his saw get through? If they didn't mind a gigantic hacksaw on the train, what exactly were they looking for? A cannon? Plutonium? A lightsaber?

As I am about to click on "Publish Post," I think of a phone conversation I had with my mother today which included her saying, "Many of my friends read your blog, you have no idea." If you are a friend of my mother's and are reading this, I apologize for using the word "genitalia." I promise that this is not a reflection on her parenting skills. She is worth many more camels than a woman whose son nonchalantly tosses around words like "genitalia."